As I will be leaving my quinquagenarian (50-59) years in the rear view mirror soon, I've stumbled upon a question which is almost childlike in it's simplicity. Yet, it's impact can be life-changing. The "naked inquiry" is to ask a spouse, a good friend, an employer, a co-worker, or your children that if we could "play pretend" for 5 minutes, what would they change in you (or me.) Holy, moly; today I tried it and probably got enough sincere insight to help me from paying a counselor for the next year. WARNING: make sure you are feeling pretty secure and that you will not hold the other person's observations against them. We all have our quirks, twitches and gaps. Who knows?.. It may clear out an impasse that's been in the way of open communication for years.